In Defense of Cargo Shorts

I don't are what you think about my cargo shortsI don’t get the hate out there for cargo shorts, seriously not at all.  I’ve seen this article posted a handful of times, I do note that it was shared on April 1, 2016, so I do hope that it was an April Fools’ joke though I have no proof to believe that.  None the less I shall counter their argument as best I can.

The issues:

  1. A gentleman does not wear shorts that cover the knees. If I am wearing shorts It is because it is too hot to wear pants, if I am concerned about making the appearance of gentlemanliness than I am not concerned about comfort.  In truth, if I have put that much thought into my appearance and how a few extra pockets on a longer pair of shorts, I’ve wasted too much time considering others opinions about my looks and have therefore been wasting my time.  Also, I am wearing shorts because it is hot and I would like to be comfortable.  The simple act of wearing shorts means I’m putting comfort above all else.
  2. What are you even putting in those pockets? I get it you don’t like the pockets, guess what I don’t care. Sure most of the time a four pocket pair of pants works fine.  However, If I want extra pockets what business of it is anybody else’s? Really!  Since we have made it this far let me expound on possible uses for those pockets.  You see I am a dad and as such even in the best of cases I will end up being asked to carry “treasures” and “toys” and other paraphernalia that we acquire on our travels through out the day.  No, I don’t want to bring a bag because I see them left places all the time!  A bag is something I will set down from time to time, or leave in the car, etc…  I will not, however, leave my shorts in the car or take them off and leave them somewhere. So when we discover a rock, bottle cap, or the cure for cancer on our adventures I’ll always have someplace to put it.
  3. They also completely ruin whatever trim silhouette you might have on the sides of your legs. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t care about this!  I am a dad actively engaged in teaching my kids the importance of being body positive and loving the skin you’re in. Why dear god, would I reinforce negative body image messaging by giving a damn about my trim silhouette.  If that is what being a gentleman is, that is pretty damn shallow.

Wear whatever you feel comfortable in, wear what ever makes you happy.  I have a finite amount of money so if I choose to spend it on a pair of shorts I’ll choose a pair that meets the needs of my lifestyle over everything else, that means I will not be buying a pair of chino shorts with no pockets that accentuate my dad bod’s trim silhouette.


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